


For All That's Holy

by CandyCrackpot



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Family, Friendship, Gen, Humor, just the teeniest pinch of angst, others mentioned briefly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 17:51:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13195404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyCrackpot/pseuds/CandyCrackpot
Summary: Tyki thought handling things by himself would save him of embrassment and trouble. It was a foolish mistake to believe considering the family he had. Absolute crack with just the teenist pich of angst.





	For All That's Holy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spiccan](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=spiccan).



> Hey there, so this is my gift in the event of Secret Satan dgmsecretsanta2017 for the lovely spiccan! This is sort of a combination of your prompts, I took some liberty with them.
> 
> Sadly mid process my laptop died which is why it took a lot longer to finish. But it's done in its 7k+glory!
> 
> I hope you'll like this! As always feedback is welcome. Happy Holidays!
> 
> Eeze: 4
> 
> Red/Allen: 7-8
> 
> Road: 9
> 
> Wisely: 9
> 
> Lavi: 11
> 
> Tyki: 18-19
> 
> Earl/Mana: 52

Tyki often wondered what sort of hideous crime had he committed in his past life that he was forced to endure all the ridiculous misfortunes life threw at him.

" _Tyki-pet," the old barmy Duke who adopted him at the tender age of 16 lovingly called him, "please sit down, there's something I'd like to talk about with you."_

_Tyki spared a glance at the fancy couch, looking for the edge of those fartpillows the twins loved to play with before settling down. "What is it, Earl?"_

" _I am sure you are aware that the holy event of Christmas is drawing upon us."_

_It wasn't hard to notice when his entire mansion looked as if it tried to imitate the North Pole. "Yes."_

" _And you know how much I value my family and their happiness."_

_Sweat started beading on the young man's neck. "Yes?" he repeated unsurely._

_The Earl's smirk widened as he reached inside his breast pocket and pulled out a patchy enveloppe. Recognising the handwriting on it Tyki's eyes widened._

" _Due to some unknown series of events, this letter found its way to my address." He glanced down, structunising it. "The postman probably mistook 'North Pole' to 'Noah Port'. He needs new glasses prescribed for sure."_

_Uncaring that the letter was not meant for him, the Earl pulled out the contents, flipped the paper to its written side and read the script out loud._

" _Dear Satan," an amused snort stumbled through the man's nostrils, then carried on. "This is tha first time I wrote ya. I don't relly ker about matematical stuff, I jus wan food or moni. I radur want Tyki to be with us. He looks like he could use a braek. Maybe bring him non-tozic tabacco? - Red."_

_Once done, the Earl's amused glance shifted to Tyki, snickering at his obvious discomfort._

" _Tha-that's-"_

" _It's written by one of those young boys you adopted."_

_Once again, Tyki was just reminded how far the Earl's hand reached._

" _It isn't nice to hide such things from family. Though I have to say you're not as good as covering your tracks as you think you do." The Duke chuckled at his terrified expression. "Don't make that face now, I'm not going to punish you~"_

_Tyki knew better to ease up just yet, he could see the man was planning something._

" _You know this lovely message filled with childhood innocence has touched my old withered heart~" he sighed dreamily. "I'd like to meet him! All of them!"_

_If Tyki wasn't sitting he knew he would have done a double take at that. "E-excuse me?" he parotted with uncharacteristic meekness. "You want to see them?"_

" _But of course!" the man cheered. "As you are legally my son, and you adopted them, they are technically my grandchildren! Well, maybe saying that they are my sons would be more accurate, you are too young to be their father. Ah, it's been so long since a I heard a new pair of small feet pad of the floor~"_

_Oh dear god, just as Tyki suspected, it has come to the worst. The man was burning with baby-fever. Child-fever. Whichever._

" _Christmas would be a lovely occasion to have them come over and move in~"_

_Hearing that, Tyki forced himself to regain his bearings and stop the Earl before he spiralled down more into his overenthusiasm._

" _N-now hold on right there," he cut him off ignoring the kicked puppy look sent his way. "There are still… too young to meet the bunch! You know how crazy things can get here."_

_Those four were already a handful on their own but the rest of the Noah family? It would be a complete and utter disaster. It would be very bad for Eeze's lugs if the Christmas tree was 'accidentally' set on fire again._

_Recalling the incident, the Earl all but collapsed with a sigh, pouting like some spoiled child. "Alright. I won't call them over."_

_Tyki mistakenly sighed in short-lived relief. He was racking his brain to come up with an idea to excuse himself when the Earl's brooding eyes lit up again._

" _Oh, I know! If they cannot come here then I can go over dressed as Santa!"_

_Can't life cut him a break for once?!_

" _You can't!" Tyki shouted instinctively._

_He internally winced seeing the man's face crunch with confusion. "But why?"_

" _Be-because…" Dear Lord, what could he say to deter him? "I wanted to do that." He instantly felt the need to slap himself. Just where did that idea come from?!_

_To make things worse, Tyki could see the man's gaze transform into that giddy joy, that in a way was cute, but more often than not entailed something embarrassing._

_**Good job, idiot, you played yourself.** _

" _Why Tyki, that's certainly a pleasant surprise. Let me provide you some assistance."_

Tyki adjusted the stifling white beard, itching for a cigarette badly. He shot a glance at the fluorescent numbers of the clock. 23:29. The bunch tried to stay awake to meet Santa (even though Tyki told them he wouldn't come until they went to bed), but finally, after 2 hours of nagging, those little rascals went to bed. All he needed to do was tiptoe over to the living-room and place the presents under the tree - which was basically his room as the other two were shared by the kids, and man, didn't they demand that he promised to capture Santa. Which he would by the webcam that would go off by sensing motion. Lie the kids that he was knocked out by the Sandman. Show them the blurry pics. Show it to the Earl and then 'accidentally' dispose of them. Save himself from further embarrassment. A foolproof plan.

With measured steps, he silently made his way over the barely decorated tree. They were quite broke, living in a small 3 room apartment supporting the 5 of them, and neither liked to waste money on fancy stuff, so in their absence the artificial spruce was decorated by popcorn strings and paper ornaments little Eeze made.

He slowly took the red sack off his back, opened it and sighed; the Earl had filled his bag with loads of colourfully wrapped boxes. Presents that he sent with "love". Tyki had to admit he struggled to find gifts at reasonable price, so in a way he was grateful for the extra, but seriously, the man went overboard, it was as if he robbed an entire toy store then wrapped all of the boxes individually in the most cringey colourful papers. Knowing him he as well even had it custom ordered.

Huffing in the heavy coat, he unloaded the presents into neat piles, corresponding with the names. He had no idea how the Earl got their names.

Straightening, he swung the now empty sack across his back and turned towards the balcony, pretending to leave. And then the floor was stolen from under him. Tyki yelled when a rope tightened around his ankle, yanking him in the air, suspending him upside down. Blood flowing in his brain, he quickly realised:  _these fucking brats booby trapped the house._

"A-ha!" Lavi shouted victorious, slamming the door open. "Caught him! You owe me 10, Wise!"

Wisely grumbled, crossing his arms irated. "This makes no sense, how could this guy fall for such a cheap trick," he questioned eyeing the trap and the person in it with distaste. "He went undetected for centuries, how could he fall for such a lame trap?"

Lavi puffed his chubby cheeks, ready for a rebuttal when someone slapped his nape. Judging from Wisely's hiss, he had the same treatment. He turned his pout at the seething intruder

"Whatcha pricks set the alarms off for?!" Red boomed, holding the hand of a weeping Eeze trailing after him. "Ya scared the life outta Eeze!"

"Give it a rest, Red," Lavi replied. "We caught a big fish tonight."

"How much cash do you think a burglar has?" Red sniffed.

_Wait, burglar?_

_Could it be…?_

"This is not just any burglar, Red," Lavi bounced excitedly. "This is Santa!"

The revelation was both shocking and relieving.

_They don't recognise me at all!_

This would make cleaning up so much easier.

Or not, seeing how Lavi pulled out a broom, aiming the wood his way. "I'm sure if we keep hitting him more stuff will fall out of his pockets!"

"No, piñatas do that, dumbass," Wisely corrected.

"Yea," Red agreed. "Ya can keep 'ittin' this losa' but all he'll do is drip blood on tha carpet. Ya can tell how broke 'e is if 'e does all this delivery for milk n'cookie. Which reminds me." Red turned sharply, avoiding the man suspending upside down in his home and swiped away the little "welcome gift" and threw one in his mouth.

"H-hey you shouldn't eat sugary stuff at night!" Tyki spoke up finally, mindful to keep his voice altered - all he needed was any of these little gremlins to find out and haunt him for the rest of eternity with it.

"'angin' burglars shouldn't talk," Red shot back dryly. Spoke crude as always, but he still shared the stolen good with Eeze, murmuring a soft 'it's ok, calm down'.

But what now? How could he convince these sadist little shits to let him down, let him go and not beat him up with a stick. All while conceal his identity. What a mess. This couldn't get any worse.

Silence fell on the room the bell ringing could be heard. All eyes turned at the entrance of the apartment, the door battered door looming ominously. The bell rang again, followed by impatient knocks. Eeze started fussing, uneasy but Red was quick to comfort him.

A visitor so late? Maybe an angry neighbour for being so loud? That or an actual mugger. No, muggers don't knock. Some serial killer maybe? Or cops?

He didn't know and he didn't want to know, this situation was disastrous enough as it was, he didn't want any more people to witness his humiliation. Hopefully none of the brats were stupid enough to open-

"Coming~" Lavi sang, skipping towards the door.

Tyki felt like throwing one of the presents at him; seriously did this foolish boy had no self-preservation?! "He-hey you shouldn't open the door to strangers!"

Lavi paid him no mind.

"'old on there, Rabbit," called Red after him and to Tyki's relief he actually listened to him.

"Don' open the door yet, I don' wanna get framed for murderin' this guy," he said pointing at Tyki behind him, whose head was getting positively redder every second. "Use that peephole. Wise, ya look, and ya are tha stool," he decided pointing at Lavi.

The little redhead pouted. "Why are you so mean to me, Red?" he all but wailed. "You're just as bad as Yuu!"

"Coz yer an annoyin' idiot. And quit whinin', it's not like ya didn' adopt 'Beansprout' from 'im. And 'ow do you expect any of us to support yer weight? My left arm is useless, Wisely is a weakling and Eeze is 4."

Lavi huffed, puffing his cheeks but complied. He and Wisely went over to the door, the Lavi kneeled next to the it, standing on his hands and knees. Wisely stepped on his back and stood on his tiptoes, barely reaching the peephole.

"Eh? I can't see anyone." Wisely let out a pained yelp when the door rattled with an onslaught of furious knocks, smashing the peephole in Wisely's eye. If not for Red dashing over to catch him, he would have hit his head pretty hard. In the background Eeze whimpered, sensing the tense atmosphere.

"H-hey let me down, I'll handle this," Tyki shouted then twisted so he could murmur calming words for Eeze.

"Change of plans," Red announced, helping Wisely and Lavi straighten. He reached inside the umbrella holder, fishing out a cheap wooden bat and positioned so it wouldn't be visible for the uninvited guests. "Open the door. If things go south escape via tha ladder."

"Wait what?!" Lavi cried but he was ignored as Red shoved him aside to glare at whoever disturbed them.

It was a 50 something man and a little girl around their age - probably the one who almost broke down the door. They both had tanned skin, dark hair and amber eyes; features hauntingly similar to Tyki's and Wisely's. Where was the bloody wanker anyways. Red took a second to glare at the strange pair before yelling at them.

"We're not buying anythin', we're not interested in any religions and not givin' you any money so sod off."

He attempted kicking the door back into place, but a cane stuffed its way inside, jamming the way, flexing the door open, revealing the two boys next to Red and the apartment behind them. Red's hand around the bat tightened.

"Don't be so mean, Red~" the young girl sang, making said boy stiffen in alarm. Tyki was hoping he was just hallucinating from all the blood flowing in his already buzzing head.

_When I said it couldn't be worse I didn't mean it as a challenge! Please don't let it be_ _**them!** _

"Indeed it is very rude to slam the door in the face of a young lady~" said the man behind her in the same annoying singsang voice.

Silver eyes flickered to those two hidden from view, urging them to run, then back to the pair, eyes narrowing. "Who are ya?"

Pearly teeth shined from behind their grinning lips. "We are Santa's helpers of course!" they shouted in union.

Red was left speechless.

Tyki wondered if he was cursed.

"I'm the Krampus!" the young girl laughed, pointing at the horns poking out of her head. "I follow Santa around and punish naughty children." Lavi shuddered when the girl's creepy golden eyes flickered to him, gaze predatory.

"And I," followed her partner, "Am an elf~ I create and pack the presents."

"The 'ell that 'as do to do with us?"

"Because you have our dear Santa Claus hanging around in there!"

Tyki wished he was hung by his neck.

"No," Red quickly denied. "That's a piñata."

"A," the man blinked, surprised. "Piñata?"

"That's clearly a human person over there," the Krampus girl pointed out, finger aimed at the man whose head was starting to get purple. "He is wheezing."

"That's the wind," Red replied without batting an eye. "The doors and windows don' close well."

"But the sounds clearly come from that," Road insisted.

"Nothing a few hits with a bat won't fix."

_What the hell._

Road's golden eyes twinkled, body leaning forward with clear interest. "Oh _?"_

_Double hell._

"Aw, you befriended already? How cute," the gigantic man claiming to be an elf laughed. "But it's turning really cold out here, may we come inside?"

"No." Red attempted kicking the door shut again but the cane stopped it again.

"We have free hot chocolate!" Road yelled.

A momentary pause.

"With marshmallows and whipped cream, just the way you love it~"

The door swung open, bat dropped to the ground with a loud thump. "Why didn't ya start with that," Red grumbled, stepping aside to let the snickering girl and the old man in.

Lavi and Wisely gaped. "What the hell, Red?!"

"Shaddup, if ya wanna run ya know where the ladder is."

"Ladder?" the old dude asked following him into Tyki's room.

_Damn brat and his glutton and his sweet tooth and his sadism. I'm going to faint but not soon enough!_

Tyki's worst fears came true. The Earl came after all. Worse,  _Road_ came as well. The little shit will never let him live it down.

His eyes met hers. They held gazes for a few seconds, then Road sneered.

For the nth time, Tyki wished he passed out already.

"There's some ladder that leads to the top right next to us," Red explained turning at the elf man. "Now make me hot chocolate 'n' then get lost and take this loser with ya."

_What an ass_  - Tyki, Wisely and Lavi thought in union. Eeze continued to peek from behind the hanged man timidly.

"Yes, yes," the Earl replied. He was already starting to take a liking to the boy, Tyki could tell. "Please escort me."

Red and the Earl headed for the kitchen. Lavi and Wisely silently exchanged looks, mutely agreeing that Wisely will stay and keep his eyes - or eye as one screwed shut, still hurting from the hit. Lavi trailed behind Red and the Earl, silently picking up the discarded bat, should the situation call for it. He watched ample Criminal Minds and CSI to know how to get rid of a body without trace.

Wisely turned to face the burglar, noticing that Eeze was oddly at ease with him. His eyes narrowed. "So Mister Santa," he taunted with all the malice an 8 years old could possess, circling him like a predator. "How come that a tactical genius like you, who ran this business and went undetected for hundreds, if not thousands of years, was caught in a trap as  _childish_  as this?!" He seethed, stomping his tiny feet for effect. "Not to mention according to the folk tales you are chubby, yet you look skinny!"

Tyki could hardly hear it over the rushing of his own blood. Breathing was difficulty, let alone answering.

Wisely' eyes - eye - narrowed. "Except… if you're not really Santa, are you?!"

Oh shit, did he find out in the end? His life was over, he had to get some shitty glasses that would cover his face and dress as a hobo and go incognito.

"A-ha!" Wisely cried victorious, taking the silence for admittance. "I knew it. You're not Santa at all! You are," he held a pause for added dramatic effect. "AN IMPOSTOR!"

… An impostor?

Bloody hell. Due to whatever miracle, he was still unrecognised. But at this point he was even alright with the upcoming humiliation, he just wanted to be let down before he vomited out all the fish he stole from the nearby park's pond.

"Indeed you are right~," the Earl sang bringing in hot chocolate. Behind his trailed in Red who savoured his share slowly, Lavi following them with a slice of ham that he handed over to Wisely so he could press it on his bruising eye.

"This person was assigned to be the Santa this year~" the Earl said, hiding a smile in his wrinkles. "He's still a newbie, not a proper Santa."

"What?! Santa handed down his business?!" Lavi asked incredulous. "Then how are we supposed to ask him about his vehicle?! I mean! A reindeer pulled sleigh was probably enough a few hundred years ago when the population was a billion at tops, but with nearly seven billion people armed with camera in their smartphones? It's impossible! He must have invested in an airplane or a, a spaceship or whatnot!"

"Santa is not some alien," Wisely grunted. "He probably worked by having multiple elves or whatever dress like him, do the job and take the credit while he managed the whole scheme. The true question is, what sort of surveillance system does he have to know who was naughty and who was nice!"

"Oh that's easy!" Road cut in. "I hack surveillance cameras and people's webcams and their browser history!"

_So that's how the Earl learned about them!_  Tyki shot an accusing glare at the cheap webcam sitting on top of his computer's monitor that Lavi bought with his pocket money.

Wisely gasped, taking a step backwards. "B-but what about the times before computerisation? How do you explain that!"

Golden eyes twinkled. "Why, the priests of all the churches of course~ They are former kids I  _punished_  and retrained to be my faithful dolls~"

Wisely backed away from Road's leering gaze, gulping uneasy.

"Wha-what about the time before the birth of the Christian Church?"he stuttered, forcing himself to straighten. "How do you explain that!"

"Well~ Saint Nicholas was born in the 3rd century~ and he made it his mission to celebrate the birth of Christ by helping the poor that Christ loved. Before that there was no Santa."

"Objection!" Lavi yelled, coming to Wisely's defence. "While Santa is originated from Saint Nicholas, you cannot deny that Santa takes after Odin too much! How do you explain that?!"

Road shrugged. "Saint Nicholas ate him alive and now he wears his skin."

She snickered at the faces she got in response.

"Now Road, don't scare the other children~" the elf dressed man chided. "Christmas is about love and acceptance, spooky things are to be joked about on Halloween."

"But that's so far away! Can't we celebrate Nightmare Before Christmas style? It would fit this Santa so, so well!" she whined jumping to cling at Tyki, who was still hanging.

The man sighed. "We didn't prepare that way. I packed cute stuff to decorate the tree with. Maybe next time, ok?"

Road 'hmp'-ed, crossing her arms, sulking. "Fine."

The man flashed her an apologetic smile and patted her thin shoulders. "Here, you too have some hot chocolate." He placed the tray down and handed a mug to Road, then turned towards the two spooked boys.

"Well then, Wisely, Lavi." He kept a warm smile for the boys, even though they looked uneasy that the man knew their names. "I brought some extra ornaments for your tree. Would you like to hang them on?"

The two exchanged nervous glances.

"I'll answer any questions you may have about Santa's business."

"Okay!" Lavi shouted excitedly, abandoning the thoughts of self-preservation and the bat in favour of such secret knowledge.

"He-hey!" Wisely cried, scrambling to pick up the bat and squeeze it to his chest like a teddy bear; he shot a look at the man, still having reservations. Like any normal person would having three strangers in their home. Especially if said person were mere children unattended. Speaking of which where the hell did Tyki go for so long?

Santa's elf and Lavi looked over the packages the man brought, picking out the different sparkly globes. Curious, Eeze shuffled closer eyeing the items. The elf smiled, handing over some of them for him to inspect.

"So how fast does Santa's ride go and what fuels it?"

The man looked harmless but Wisely knew better than to trust strangers. He needed to get the telephone and call him.

On the blurring edges of his consciousness, Tyki saw Wisely shoot a glance at the phone sitting on his computer desk, and after checking the Earl, he inched for the device.

_Oh shit, if he rings my mobile I'm found out._

Wisley's hand closed around the device.

_I have to find a way to stop him-_

"Whatcha doing?" a feminine voice purred in the boy's ear, freezing him. A single eye met a leering pair.

"U-uhm," Wisely stuttered, eyes seeking out help but none came, Lavi was busy getting answers to his questions while Red was still immensed in his hot chocolate.

"I really hope you don't want to call the cops or  _anyone else_  on us," she continued. "The last thing you need is to explain why you trapped and currently torture some dude in Tyki's room. Those are serious crimes, they won't let it go~."

Wisely shot a look at the nearly unconscious, poor man. That shade of grey on him didn't exactly seem healthy. Those dying wheezes could elicit pity in tender hearts. Good thing neither of them particularly had one.

Seeing Wisely hesitate and eventually let go of the phone Road smirked, glance shifting to Tyki's eyes.

Will his niece have mercy on him and let him down?

Road waved at him and turned to decorate the tree as well.

No, it seems not.

"Hey Elf," he called out to her partner, making him pause. "That tiny tree isn't exactly giving back the Christmas mood. How about we decorate this guy instead?"

The occupants of the room paused, all eyes turning at Tyki.

"That's a splendid idea!" the man said, eyes alight with half-sadistic delight. "Santa-pet will look lovely with all the gold, bronze and silver ornaments~."

Once he got down all of these bastard would pay dearly.

All of the idiots abandoned the tree he went through the trouble of getting and instead they pierced the loaned santa outfit with the hooks of the ornaments. Tyki truly wished they wouldn't notice it when he brought it back. If he brought it back. At this point the hope that he would stand on the ground on his two feet seemed like an untouchable dream.

The digital clock beeped once, signaling midnight just as the bunch were done.

"Merry Christmas!" the Earl shouted, squeezing the two nearest children by his side, who happened to be Road and Red. Let's celebrate this joyous occasion with a song!"

Road lit the candles and sparklers placed on different parts of his body, then started singing along with the Earl. Lavi, the obnoxious brat he was joined in and Tyki was sure he could hear Red hum along quietly despite his continued claims that he hated singing and performing in general.

Tyki wondered if this was God's punishment for being born on the same day as was that goddamn biblical comet to smash into this madness. With how things were going he was really about to transcend into another level of existence.

At the end of the songs Road, Lavi and the Earl cheered and little Eeze followed with a shy 'yay', while Wisely still eyed the intruders suspiciously and Red kept his every present annoyed expression.

"Time for opening the presents!" Lavi squealed, jumping right next to his pile. His small fingers creased and tore of the wrapping paper, discarding it on the greyish white carpet. "Oooooohhh?" he cooed feeling the prize - some warm cloth. Folding it open his voice jumped another octave in his excitement. "This is a costume pijama! Pink rabbit, Yoshi! I'm gonna go and put this on! You're next Wise!" he shouted, slapping the boy on the eye that was covered with the already warm ham slice.

Wisely cursed, swearing revenge on his elder brother. He reluctantly took the present Road handed him and tore it open. "I get a costume pijama too? AH! THIS IS GAMAKO, THE FROG!" His reservations forgotten, Wisely hugged the fabric and dashed off to his room to change as well. "Your turn Red!"

"I'll pass ta Eeze," Red said, taking Eeze by the hand, leading him to the gifts. He took the present with his good hand and placed in on the ground, pulling Eeze down he sandwiched the boy between himself and it. "Come on, Eeze, open it."

Tiny fingers clasped onto the paper, ripping , to find-

"Oh? Wow, Eeze look at that, ya got tha Koro, tha kitten costume pjs, tha rarest ov 'em all!"

Reacting to the excitement in his voice, Eeze clapped his hands. The next second he pushed himself up, reached into Red's pile and handed over a present.

Red cracked a rare smile. "Thank ya Eeze."

Clumsily with his only mobile hand, Red pulled the wrappers apart to meet his own costume pijamas.

"Allen, tha puppy? Noice. I didn't think I'd say this but thank ya Santa."

"Lemme down…"

"Come Eeze, we go 'n change into these too."

Red took little Eeze by his hand, costumes under his left armpit and led the boy to their shared room, leaving the strangers alone.

The Earl sighed with exasperated fondness. "What cute kids you have there Tyki-pet. And they are smart too. Lavi is very eager to get his hands on knowledge and that trap he laid out is simple and splendid. Wisely is equally curious but he is more cautious by nature. Red hasn't stopped watching me for a second, he doesn't seem to want knowledge for the mere sake of learning, he seems more interested in skills he can utilize. And little Eeze despite being merely 4 can already read! Marvellous! Bookman will be definitely interested in teaching them! I will lay of course. What do you think?"

"Lemme down please…"

"No, it will ruin the Feng Shui." Road objected.

Seeing the Earl's expectant gaze, Tyki somehow knew that the Earl knew he would end up in this trap. Old man used the kids to get Tyki to agree.

"Do whatever you want with them just let me down..."

The Earl flashed him a blinding smile. "Splendid."

Tyki heard something rip, then gravity claimed him and he fell on the floor with an unceremonious thud. His head and vision spinned, the ornaments dug into his back uncomfortably but finally his heart no longer pounded in his head. Laying on the ground he could feel the impact of those tiny feet coming back.

Apparently, Lavi and Wisely were in some sort of leaping contest.

"Frogs have no chance against rabbits!"

"I'll make you eat your words, hare!"

"Dumbasses," Red grunted walking past them with Eeze.

Road squealed in delight. "You look so cute! Especially you Red, with that mean look on you!"

"Huh?" He asked, puzzled to see Road watch him, like she was evaluating him. "I don't  _look_  mean, I  _am_  mean." He said, almost like a warning to stay the fuck away.

Road giggled. "Oh yeah suuuure," she replied, eyes shifting at Eeze and the two boy's joined hands.

"Now children, you can play later, the rest of your presents await you," the elf said, handing a box over to Road.

The girl squealed in delight, quickly tearing it open to find her own gifts. "Oooo, this is 9th Dream pijama from Queen collection! Thank you!" she shouted rocketing into the elf's belly, squeezing tight, then let go just as quickly to start undressing.

"Hey, go dress in one ov tha rooms," Red yelled, clasping a hand over Eeze's eyes. Wisely and Lavi cried in union and covered their eyes. Red continued to glare at the girl who just snickered at his annoyed expression.

"Ta-da!" Road twirled around in her pure white spaghetti strap cotton top, purple skirt-shorts and striped socks. The white wings sewn to the back were an ironic contrast to the horn on top of her head. Or Road's general personality.

All of them stilled when heavy knocks rattled the door.

"It looks like we were a bit too loud," the Earl said in a much more subdued volume than before. "I'll handle this, children."

The man calmly made his way over the door, opening it with an apologetic smile, instinctively shrinking when the person at the door immediately met him with yelling.

"What are you brats making such noise for! It's way past midnight, some people might want to sleep!"

Moreso than the volume, the Earl was shocked to see a familiar person in the doorway. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. "E-eh? Bookman? You live here?"

"Earl?" Bookman's voice went back to normal seeing who opened the door. "Yes, I just moved here as it is very near that recently revealed historical site. I will stay here as long as I run my research. What about you, Duke. You are quite far away from home." On the other end of the city actually. This part was considered quite run down.

The Earl's grin widened, remembering the special right he got from Tyki. "Visiting family~ I just discovered 4 new children and I think you'd be interested in teaching them."

Bookman hummed. "First I'll determine if they are worth my time. I'll go and fetch my tests."

"Right now? Aren't we disturbing your sleep?"

"No. I was in the middle of work actually. But I cannot stand noise."

"Alright, I'll leave the door open, we'll be waiting." He turned back to his newfound kids. "Well then, go on, open the rest of the presents." He raised a digit to his lips. "Just be silent about it."

They stepped over Tyki nonchalantly, targeting the rest of the presents.

Lavi got a poncho, a "pirate kit" with pirate style eye patch (that lavi immediately put on, changing the medical one he had) along with scrolls, maps and even a small crest for his treasure.

Wisely received make-up, a deck of tarot and a crystal orb for future telling - and suckering people.

Eeze had an electric train set and small cars as well as colourful books of different animals and locations.

And finally, Red got a magician and a clown kit. He scoffed at the clown one, setting it aside but said nothing. Instead he went to apply make-up on Wisely's bruised eye and paint him some extra ones. Wisely was incredibly pleased.

Somewhen along the way, Bookman came in as well.

Lavi's head tilted to the side cutely. "Who are you?"

"Your teacher if you prove worthy," he replied spreading out the different tasks for the kids. "I have a game that might interest you."

Taken in by curiosity, the kids went along with it.

A half hour later Bookman got his results. "They all are gifted in one way or another. Lavi and Wisely are yearning after knowledge for the sake of learning. Eeze needs more polishing for me to determine what he is leaning for but he has potential. And that Red boy… He isn't very literate, but his out of the box thinking is remarkable. With the proper guidance these children can go far." As Road was already a discipline of his, it was unnecessary to test her.

The Earl clapped his hands, satisfied. "Marvelous! We can start the new year with a lesson~!"

Lavi and Wisely tackled the old Bookman with questions when the Earl noticed Red slip out of the room, heading for the kitchen. Concerned that the boy might hurt himself, he trailed after him soundlessly.

He watched puzzled as the boy got a ball about as big as him and placed it on the kitchen floor. Grabbing onto the counter with his only hand, the boy boosted himself on top of the ball. The Earl watched breath held back as he stabilized himself and opened the top shelf to reveal a cookie jar. The boy took it out, placed it on the counter, then closed the door. He effortlessly hopped off the ball, landing on the tiles silently. His small back tensed when he heard clapping behind himself.

"Bravo!" the elf congratulated him. "That was quite a hard trick! Who taught you this?"

"...I learned by myself," the boy replied, shoving a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth.

Watching by learning? Exactly the sort of genius that the Earth loved to fund.

"You really are good at this. Are you perhaps learning to become a clown."

The darkness flashing in his eyes left the Earl puzzled.

"An acrobat," the boy corrected. "I 'ate clowns."

The Earl allowed a childish pout for himself. "Well, I am a clown and I don't like mean kids who won't laugh."

Red huffed, moving to shove past the man, but stopped when he spoke up. "But that isn't the case for you, right? You keep up this… front but in reality, you are a very warm hearted child."

Red took a step back, eyes widening as he watched the old man. "T the hell ya want."

"I want to help you." The man held back a snicker seeing the boy's incredulous look, concerned the boy might misinterpret.

"Ya don' expect me to believe that."

Wary indeed. "But I do. I'm similar to you. I never knew my blood parents, I was adopted by a kind couple. I am really happy that my life went in that direction, but I don't want to forget my roots either. Which is why, I want to help with similar fated youth who have great potential but have no money for it. And you, Red, are a special child. You showed potential in both sports and education. Perhaps music even." Who knows, Neah might pounce on this boy and teach him. "I want to help you flourish."

The boy was unmovable. "I call bullshit."

"I'm speaking the truth," the man assured, to no avail.

"I don' believe ya. Ya might have dallied 'ere for charity so that you can feel betta 'bout yaself, pat yaself in the back and say 'I'm a good person', ya don' actually give a rat's ass 'bout any ov us."

The Earl was taken aback seeing such distrust and rage radiate from the child. His instinct was correct, Tyki indeed took the kids adult would label as "problematic" one way or another, because they had little to no chance to get adopted. Racking his brain over the events of tonight, it became clear that Red was incapable of moving his left arm and he hid it from view under long sleeves and gloves.

This was going to be hard nut to crack

Maybe this boy could dance nutcracker splendidly though. He mentally jolted down that for later.

"Look Red. I know it's hard for you to trust anyone. And it doesn't help that you just met me. But I do mean what I said. I know what it's like to be abandoned, to work to the bone just to barely get by. I hated how weak and powerless I was-"

"Oh, cut yer self-pitying crap," Red snapped, face flushing from anger - what he was saying hit too close for the boy. It appears his words  _were_ reaching him - and the boy didn't like it.

In his fit, Red yanked up his sleeve, nearly slapping him with his grotesquely disfigured, scale-textured red arm and blackened nails. All while keeping the cookie jar safe under his armpit.

"Go on, keep yapping 'bout how much ya  _care_ , ya shitty adults always leave once gettin' an eyeful ov this; if you can withstand looking at this then-"

"I see," the man murmured, interrupting the child. Red was left flabbergasted as his freakish arm was taken in that large, warm palm so tenderly. "So this is why your name is Red. That's so sad. Names are to indicate the love between people, not scorn." Finally that irritating smile was wiped off his face, but the concerned frown aimed at him made Red"s insides flutter nervously. "I'm sorry you had to go through that-" he caught himself before he uttered that accursed name that was burnt into this child's identity, like a curse. "You really didn't deserve that."

He gave a gentle squeeze to the fragile, quivering hand and flashed a warm smile at the boy. "I'm Mana. Mana D. Campbell. Pleasure to make you acquaintance. I hope we can become good friends. How may I refer to you?"

Red was biting his lips, blinking furiously to keep those confusedreliveddisbelievinghopeful tears inside - but in the end, head bowed forward, hand gripping his pijama tightly, he spoke up, voice shaking. "Allen. Call me Allen."

Mana flashed Allen a blinding smile. "Pleasure to meet you, Allen! Happy Birthday!"

Allen tensed when warm arms parted, surrounding him, but not touching him, there was room for him to escape if he wished so. Mana remained crouching, waiting for the boy's decision. The boy's eyes held his and Mana could swear he could see all, the wrathsorrowexhaustionfear. The suspensed waiting for Mana to say he was joking and leave him. He never would.

Allen choked down as he stepped forward, allowing Mana's arms to wind around him tightly, his own small hand reaching to grip at the front of his costume.

Hiding behind the doorway, Road smiled and skipped back to Tyki and the rest.

* * *

"Look at that, Wise!" Lavi whispered, kicking his feet in the air as he laid on his stomach beside their no longer hanging man. "Eeze fell asleep on this dude."

"Unbelievable," the other breathed, but here Eeze was, laying on top of the man's stomach like he belonged there. "He only does this with Tyki!"

"Where could he have gone though," Lavi wondered, yawning.

Road bit back a sneer.

Bookman stood by their side unblinking. Diamond in the rough they might have been, but they definitely needed polishing.

All eyes turned to the Earl as he entered, carrying a snoozing Allen bridal style. "Now, children, it has gotten terribly late. It is time for you to go to bed."

"Awww, but I wanted to play with Allen," Road complained, pouting.

Wisely blinked. "Allen?"

Road flashed a grin in his way. "That's Red's new name~ He will need it for a proper birth certificate."

Ah.

"Wait,"Lavi called out, a grin stretching on his face seeing the uncharacteristically soft look on Red- Allen's face as he slept. "Allen fell asleep?"

"Well, it is 2 am."

"Yeah, but he's never going to live down being carried like a princess. Wise, quickly, commemorate this moment."

"Got you," the other said, snapping pictures with the smart phone he got as gift. "This is going to be perfect blackmail material." The two of them high fived, keeping down their malicious giggles.

Mana shook his head with exasperated fondness. Children were truly such gift. "I'm going to go and put this little rascal in bed."

"What about Eeze though?" Lavi inquired, "he wakes too easy and it might scare him."

Mana paused. "I guess I'll have to go let him stay on Santa. I'll put a blanket over them." He turned, heading for Allen's and Eeze's shared room."I'll take Tyki-pet's bed. Road, you may sleep in Allen's-" Road dashed past him, jumping into a bed that creaked loudly in protest. "... room." Having no other option, he placed Allen in the other bed, then turned to Road with a serious expression. "I know you love cuddling, but do not sleep in the same bed as Allen."

Road openly sulked, but did not protest. Mana turned off the lights and left them to sleep.

Wisely and Lavi verbally protested against bedtime, but they couldn't hide their yawns. The moment their heads touched the pillow they were out like candles.

Bookman excused himself and retired to his own apartment.

Mana settled on Tyki's bed, letting out a relieved sigh as he finally got out of his costume. It was fun wearing it, but not exactly the most comfortable wear.

"That's my bed you know."

The Earl smiled. "Ah, you've finally regained consciousness. But you know the floor might serve better for your spine now. The floor would make my old back ache."

He chuckled at Tyki's groan. He raised the covers, slipping into the creaking bed. "You truly have wonderful kids Tyki-pet. And I can see it know why you hesitated to have them come over. You are right. The manor would be too much for them much yet."

"... I never expected you to agree with me," Tyki admitted.

"But of course," Mana replied. "I know I can be unrealsonable at times, but I always have my family's best interest in my mind."

There was a comfortable silence between them. Tyki absentmindedly caressed Eeze's hair. He had to figure it out how to get out of this costume without waking him. Though, seeing how he fell asleep on him, he was inclined to believe that Eeze figured it out. Still, those 3 little gremlins must never learn about this. He was never going to dress like Santa ever. Let those brats know how crazy a Santa-dressed Earl could be, he decided with a self-satisfied smirk.

"You can always move in during Easter."

Tyki stifled a frustrated screech.


End file.
